Is she / he for me?

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How to know whether someone is a best fit for you?

 

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It can sometimes be very difficult to decide whether you should take another step with this guy / girl that you have been attracted to for some time.  You know that you will need to make this tricky decision. I hear people saying: “he / she is from a ‘different planet’ but there is something that is pulling me towards him / her – what should I do”? If you are in a similar situation or maybe you are just looking for the right person for you, then keep reading 🙂 Here are 6 rules of happy relationships, based on Maximum Achievement by Brian Tracey.

 

1. Similarities attract

It is important that partners have similar opinions around money, kids (how many and how you bring them up), politics, relationships, ways of spending free time and religion. If you don’t, make sure you talk it through and find common ground.

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2. Opposites attract

It is better if you have different temperaments. Nature likes balance. It is important to be able to have give and take in conversation, to be able to talk to each other whilst also being able to  enjoy easy silences.  In this way both parties achieve satisfaction.

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3. Total commitment

This is when you do not think of a break up as an easy option. Instead, you feel responsible for your part in the relationship and do not give up on it without a fight. You also don’t just say that you love your partner but you show them that you do through your actions. Relationships require continuous maintenance to survive and indeed to thrive.

4. Friends

Your partner is your best friend and there is nobody else that you would prefer to spend more time with. Of course we do like to do certain things with certain people and that is ok. But if you can say that your partner is your best friend and that you love spending time with her / him, then that is a good sign:)

satysfaction in your relationships

5. Similar self – concepts

Too big of an imbalance in how happy or unhappy each of the partners feel, can create conflict and unhappiness.

Many of you have possibly heard of broken relationships where one person started to do fantastic things with her / his life, lost loads of weight or got deeply involved in personal development, and the marriage did not survive this change…

6.  Good communications

Good communication is vital for a happy relationship. You need to spend time together, you need to talk, you need to share your thoughts, feelings, hopes, fears and desires. No communication = no happy relationship. Good communication skills can be learnt!

Sooner or later, these (six) rules will emerge in your relationships. However, all of the rules can be examined and worked on so that you can see improvements in each of the areas. If you feel now, after reading the rules, that your own relationship doesn’t look so great, don’t worry. At least you might have found out the reason. I am sure it is not all that bad. And in any case, awareness is the key to happiness.

Reflecting on my own relationship, I feel that the above rules do hit home. But there are a few other things, that in my opinion are as important here if not more so than these rules!

Self-acceptance – you need to accept yourself.  Firstly so you can be happier and secondly, to be able to accept your partner and stop wishing that he / she was different.

Forgiveness – you need to be able to forgive yourself all your mistakes. The first reason would be that you will be happier and secondly, to be able to allow your partner to make his/ her own mistakes. If you do, you will be able to give support instead of grief.

Self love – you need to love yourself in order to be able to freely love your partner.

Responsibility – you and only you are responsible for your own happiness. This is no one else’s responsibility. I find that this is a very hard notion to take, but as long as you think otherwise, you and your happiness will be dependant on others and therefore very fragile…. You gotta take your own life and your own happiness in your own hands.

Thank you for reading! I hope it makes sense to you. If you have any questions, you are more than welcome to get in touch with me. Please, feel free to leave a comment.

Wishing you beautiful relationships

Joanna

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